The prices you see vary so much because each quote has different things bundled in 🤔 One might include the inverter, batteries, monitoring, and full installation; another might just have the panels and a basic inverter. Before comparing numbers, make sure you check exactly what materials and brands each one lists, who's doing the installation, and whether they include extended warranty or maintenance for the first few years.
What nobody tells you is that it's worth asking for quotes by requesting the exact same thing everywhere: specify that you want 5 kW with an inverter from such-and-such brand, batteries or no batteries, and that everything comes installed ready to use. That way you're really comparing apples to apples. Also, before you sign anything, look up references for each company in your area, because there's a lot of trouble with some installers who disappear after they're done.
As for doing it all at once or in stages, most people I know who got into this did it all in one go because expanding later is a huge hassle 😅 The inverter has a maximum capacity, and if you want to add more panels next year, you need to reconfigure everything. As for getting your money back, it depends on how much your electricity bill is and how much sun your area gets, but we're talking years, not months. The thing is that in the long run it saves you a ton.