My daughter is 3 weeks old and cries desperately every evening between 6 and 9 pm. I've tried everything: pacifier, massages, different positions. I read that it could be colic but I'm not sure how to really recognize it from the symptoms. Has anyone of you had this experience?
Crying at the same time every day is really the main red flag for colic, so you're on the right track suspecting it. What matters most is watching whether her belly visibly bloats during these episodes and whether she pulls her legs up toward her chest while crying - it's not just desperate crying, it's actual physical discomfort you can see in her body. If her belly stays normal instead and the crying is more of a general "I want attention" thing, it could be something else.
Colic is basically trapped gas, and unfortunately at three weeks her digestive system is still really immature. Try circular massages on her belly going clockwise, keep her in positions where her belly is slightly compressed (like belly-down on your forearm), and if you're breastfeeding consider that what you eat can affect it too. If you're using formula instead, maybe talk to your pediatrician about trying a different brand, because for some babies it makes a difference.
The other important thing is not to lose it stress-wise during these times - sounds obvious but your nervousness and she picks up on it and makes things worse. Nothing you do will magically make the pain go away, but staying calm helps. Around eight to ten weeks it usually gets noticeably better on its own, so it's not forever even though it feels endless right now.
Don't panic if the pediatrician rules out other causes (reflux, milk allergies) because unfortunately colic is one of those things where there's no real magic solution, just management.
What worked with my niece (and studies say the same thing) is constant white noise during the crying - not just sometimes, but on all the time during that window, like 20-30 minutes before the crisis starts.
It sounds silly but the fact that she already knows the noise is coming calms her down in an absurd way.
In the meantime, try not to let those three days completely wear you down - just ask if you need anything else, but seriously, take turns with whoever you can to get breaks, because your stress makes hers worse.
After three weeks, the fact that she cries at the same time every day is pretty telling, but there are a couple of things I'd like to ask you before I say "yeah, it's colic" - when she cries, is her belly hard or bloated? And does she have trouble pooping, or does it come out easily?
I'm asking because real colic has this super regular pattern (what you're describing is classic), but evening crying in small newborns can also come from reflux or other stuff, especially if her belly isn't tense. The pediatrician should rule out milk allergy - whether it's breast milk or formula - before assuming it's colic, because if it were that, nothing would change by massaging or trying different positions.
If the pediatrician has already ruled out other causes and the situation is exactly what you're describing - same time every day, desperate crying, nothing calms her for hours - then unfortunately yeah, it could be colic and in that case the most realistic thing is it'll pass on its own in a few weeks, two at most. In the meantime you can try her on her belly, rhythmic movements, maybe one of you holding her during that time so the other can rest a bit.
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