My daughter is 3 weeks old and cries desperately every evening between 6 and 9 pm. I've tried everything: pacifier, massages, different positions. I read that it could be colic but I'm not sure how to really recognize it from the symptoms. Has anyone of you had this experience?
What you're describing sounds exactly like colic. The fact that she cries at the same time every day is the biggest red flag - colic has this almost hypnotic thing about presenting itself regularly, usually in the late afternoon or evening. At 3 weeks you're right in the classic period, since they usually start around the second week and can last up to 3-4 months. If you notice that during these episodes her little belly seems tight, she's pulling her legs up toward her chest, or her face is changing color, you've got other indicators pointing to colic rather than other issues.
The important thing is ruling out other causes. Maybe get her checked by the pediatrician to make sure it's not reflux or food intolerances, especially if you're breastfeeding (in that case you might have eaten something that bothers her). But honestly, the pattern you're describing - every evening, same time, you've already tried the basic solutions - is so textbook that it's probably colic. Unfortunately there's no miracle cure, even though some moms swear by certain positions (like the "colic hold" where you hold her belly-down along your forearm), a tube to let the air out, or even just keeping her moving (I know people who've spent hours walking around).
Hang in there, it passes. I know it sounds terrible when you're in the middle of an evening crisis, but it really doesn't last forever. In the meantime, breathe when you can and don't feel guilty if sometimes you put her in the crib and step away for five minutes - it's normal and necessary for your own sanity.
Don't panic if the pediatrician rules out other causes (reflux, milk allergies) because unfortunately colic is one of those things where there's no real magic solution, just management. What worked with my niece (and studies say the same thing) is constant white noise during the crying - not just sometimes, but on all the time during that window, like 20-30 minutes before the crisis starts. It sounds silly but the fact that she already knows the noise is coming calms her down in an absurd way. In the meantime, try not to let those three days completely wear you down - just ask if you need anything else, but seriously, take turns with whoever you can to get breaks, because your stress makes hers worse.
After three weeks, the fact that she cries at the same time every day is pretty telling, but there are a couple of things I'd like to ask you before I say "yeah, it's colic" - when she cries, is her belly hard or bloated? And does she have trouble pooping, or does it come out easily?
I'm asking because real colic has this super regular pattern (what you're describing is classic), but evening crying in small newborns can also come from reflux or other stuff, especially if her belly isn't tense. The pediatrician should rule out milk allergy - whether it's breast milk or formula - before assuming it's colic, because if it were that, nothing would change by massaging or trying different positions.
If the pediatrician has already ruled out other causes and the situation is exactly what you're describing - same time every day, desperate crying, nothing calms her for hours - then unfortunately yeah, it could be colic and in that case the most realistic thing is it'll pass on its own in a few weeks, two at most. In the meantime you can try her on her belly, rhythmic movements, maybe one of you holding her during that time so the other can rest a bit.
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