How to deal with a partner who spends too much time on social media?

The best approach is to create phone-free moments - like dinners or weekends where neither of you touches the device - instead of just complaining because that usually puts him on the defensive. You need to be clear about how it affects you feeling ignored, without attacking the habit itself, because he probably doesn't even realize the impact. If he refuses to change even after this serious conversation, then you've got a bigger problem because it shows he doesn't care about your emotional wellbeing. Sometimes you need to set firm boundaries for people to understand how serious this is.

I'd say the problem might not be exactly the time on social media, but rather the lack of boundaries when you're together - it makes a difference if he's messing with his phone while watching a movie with you or if he's completely checked out during moments that should be yours. The conversation you need to have isn't complaining about Instagram, but making it clear that you feel sidelined and setting times or situations where the phone stays put away (like during meals or when you're going out). If he really says it's just to unwind, maybe he hasn't realized the impact it's having on you two - sometimes the guy wants to relax but doesn't see that he's ignoring his girlfriend, you know? Try talking about it without blame, focusing on how you feel, and see if you can both come up with something that works for both of you.

What I noticed is that when you start complaining, he probably feels attacked and digs in even harder with his position - happened to me with a girl I dated a few years ago, she was always on her phone and the more I said something, the more she'd get into it. In your case, instead of it being a problem of "time on social media," it's really about you two not having quality attention for each other, and that's legitimate to feel. Maybe it'd be more effective to have conversations about how you actually want to spend time together, instead of pointing the finger at Instagram - like "I want this to be ours, without distractions" - and then you both work out when and how that happens, without it being a top-down ban.

The thing is, phones on social media have kind of become that thing we use to switch off from stress, you know, but when you're with someone it turns into invisibility for the other person - and that's exactly why the boundaries people mentioned are important, but I think what's missing is deeper communication than just "let's put our phones away at dinner." Try talking to him at a time when he's relaxed (not in the middle of the situation) about what you're actually feeling, like "I feel distant" instead of complaining about Instagram itself, because he's probably not ignoring you on purpose, it's just become automatic for him. If he still doesn't get that this affects you emotionally even after that honest conversation, then maybe it's a sign that you two have different views on spending time together - and that's a much deeper problem than social media.