I always write 'anyway, I'm not coming to the party' or 'anyway I'm not coming' but my mom says it's wrong and that I should only use 'however' or 'but'. I'd like to know if starting with 'anyway' is really incorrect or if it's just something people have always said.
Anyway, it's correct at the beginning of a sentence, don't worry. It's not something that "has always been said that way" - it's actually grammatically valid. Anyway works as a transitional adverb and can go at the start of a sentence without any issues, maybe followed by a comma for clarity ('Anyway, I'm not coming to the party'). Your mom probably thinks it's too informal or sounds off, but that's personal taste, not a rule.
The thing is, anyway has a slightly different meaning from however or but. However and but introduce a real contrast ('He wanted to come, but he's tired'), while anyway signals more of a conclusion or continuation regardless of what was said before ('I'd like to come, anyway I'd rather stay home'). It works well in more conversational and informal tones, which maybe your mom perceives as less "correct," but it's correct anyway. It's just that all three connectives have slightly different uses.
Your mom isn't right, but she's not completely wrong either - it's one of those cases where the "always wrong" thing is a legend that's been circulating for decades. "Comunque" at the start of a sentence is perfectly correct and everyone uses it, from journalists to university professors. The fact that she insists on "tuttavia" or "però" probably comes from some old school rule that someone drilled into her, but it doesn't reflect how the language actually works.
That said, there's a nuance that might be worth knowing. "Comunque" as a transition adverb at the start of a sentence is legit, but in Italian it has a somewhat more informal and conversational feel compared to "tuttavia" or "però". It's not wrong - in fact it's natural in conversation and even in contemporary writing - it's just that "tuttavia" sounds more formal if you're writing something official. But in everyday life? Go ahead and write "comunque non vengo alla festa" without any issues, it's completely fine. The important thing is that your mom understands it's not a grammatical sin, even if maybe she'll keep preferring the alternative.
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