I have a friend who regularly posts photos of us together on Instagram and TikTok, even when I ask her not to. I'm not against appearing on her page in general, but I'd like her to ask me before posting. How do I bring this up without hurting her feelings or coming across as annoying?
Try suggesting to her that she keep you in the loop beforehand - like, you could agree that she sends you the photo in a DM before posting with a quick "should I post this?" That's not being uptight if you frame it as convenient for both of you (like "plus I'll get your take on whether it looks good"). If she forgets or ignores your requests, then it's time for a serious talk, but honestly, a lot of people just don't think about how that might bother someone - they see it as friendship, not crossing a boundary.
Don't let resentment build up or drop hints here and there - that'll either confuse things or hurt her feelings even more. Just talk to her directly, at a calm moment: "I like that you share photos of us together, but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me before posting - it's just important to me to have control over how I look on social media." Usually a conversation like that goes over fine if you don't come across as blaming her and explain that it's about your boundaries, not about her. If she keeps ignoring your request - that's already a sign she doesn't respect you, and then you can use privacy settings or just ask her to take down specific photos.
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