The most likely problem is that your starter doesn't have enough strength or you're over-fermenting without realizing it, and here's where clock timing tricks you because your kitchen temperature changes everything! What works is touching the dough: it should be puffy but with tension, not loose or deflated, and when you do the stretch-and-fold it should resist a little bit. The three months you've been at it aren't wasted - you already know what mediocre dough feels like, so now you need to learn to recognize when it's perfect, and that shows in how it behaves, not in some number of hours you read on YouTube.
Another crucial detail: if it collapses when you bake it, it was probably already over-fermented in the banneton! The second fermentation has to be shorter than you think, especially if your place is warm. Try the poke test - stick a wet finger in the dough and if the hole recovers slowly (in a second or two), it's ready; if it disappears instantly, it needs more time; if it stays there, it's too late!