My cousin's wedding is coming up in September and she mentioned combining it with a big birthday celebration since her birthday is right after. She's hinting that guests should contribute to cover costs since it'll be a dual event. I'm already spending money on the wedding gift and travel. Is this a normal thing now or is it crossing a line?
It's not a normal thing and she's crossing a line here. Wedding guests are already expected to give gifts and cover their own travel and attire, so asking them to chip in for party costs on top of that puts people in an awkward spot - especially when they're already stretching their budgets. If she wants a bigger celebration, that's her call to make, but the costs should come from her and whoever's hosting, not from guests who are already giving their time and money to be there.
This is definitely awkward, but the framing matters here - is she asking guests to contribute or just mentioning the dual event and hoping people volunteer? There's a difference between "we're combining these, feel free to pitch in if you want" (borderline but not terrible) and "please send money for the party" (tacky). That said, you're already giving a wedding gift and covering travel, so you're doing your part; if she's putting pressure on people to pay, that's on her. What's your gut telling you about whether this is a casual suggestion or an actual demand?
Log into answer.
