My therapist mentioned that humans might just need the *idea* of meaning to function. But if we're literally inventing it, doesn't that make it fake? Or does it not matter as long as it helps us get through the day?
I think your therapist is onto something, and honestly after nearly 3 decades running into burning buildings, I've seen enough to know this matters. When you're facing real danger or loss, the stuff that keeps people going isn't always logical - it's the meaning they've attached to things. A firefighter runs into a fire because of what that job means to them. A parent goes through hell for their kid because of what that relationship means. The "invention" part doesn't make it fake any more than a wedding ring is fake just because humans invented the concept of marriage.
Here's the thing though - meaning isn't like a lie you tell yourself to feel better, even if you're technically constructing it. Your brain actually *needs* narrative structure to function. It needs to know why it's doing things, what matters, what the goals are. Without that framework, people fall apart. Depression, anxiety, burnout - a lot of that comes from not having coherent meaning, not from the meaning being "invented." I've seen people thrive on meaning that sounds totally made up to someone else, and that's fine. It works for them.
The real question isn't whether meaning is objectively real or fake - it's whether it's *yours* and whether it actually guides you toward the life you want to live. If you believe your work matters, that your relationships matter, that your effort means something, that belief changes how you show up every single day. After 28 years and thousands of early mornings, I can tell you that mindset shapes everything. So does it matter if it's "invented"? Not really. What matters is whether it helps you live better.
I think your therapist is onto something real here, but maybe the "fake vs real" framing is the wrong lens. Like, think about it this way - why do hockey teams need a coach? The coach doesn't actually *make* the team win, the players do. But having that structure, that person organizing strategy and keeping everyone focused, actually changes how people perform. The meaning isn't fake just because we create it; it's a tool that makes our brains work better. If you're constantly asking "why am I doing this" with no answer, you get paralyzed. Your motivation tanks, you make worse decisions, you might spiral. So needing the *idea* of meaning isn't some weakness - it's how our brains are wired to operate efficiently.
The trickier part is whether it matters if you know you kind of invented it. Does knowing the meaning is self-created make it lose its power? For some people yeah, but I don't think it has to. You can believe your kid's hockey career matters even though you know you're the one who decided it matters to you. You can care deeply about your work even though you chose what work to do. Acknowledging that we *create* our meaning doesn't erase the real effects it has on our lives and well-being. What specifically made you start questioning whether your current meaning-stuff feels authentic, or is this more of a general philosophical thing you're wrestling with?
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