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From my own experience, I know that just banning things won't solve anything - a teenager will find a way around the ban, like your daughter did with the browser. Better to agree on rules together: for example, the phone gets put away while doing homework, and after that there's "free time" for social media - then it's not a ban, it's a structure that feels fair.

It also helps if the parent themselves isn't glued to their phone around their daughter, otherwise it sounds hypocritical. And it's worth understanding why TikTok specifically helps her get distracted - maybe the homework is boring, or school is exhausting her, or it's just that at 13 the brain hasn't developed the ability to focus yet. If you figure out the reason together, it'll be easier to solve.

Does your daughter understand why she's struggling to concentrate, or is it just "I want to, so whatever" for her?

I agree that bans don't work, but there's another thing: often a teenager doesn't see the connection between their behavior and the result. Try suggesting that she track herself how her attention and grades change depending on screen time - you're not the one counting, she keeps a simple diary for a week or two. People change their behavior way better when they find the patterns themselves than when someone points out the problem to them.

After that, you can already discuss it not as "you have to," but as "how can we make it so you can study and not feel like you're being punished." Maybe it'll be a call to a friend before homework, or 15 minutes of TikTok as a reward after finishing an assignment - something specifically for her, not your version. The main thing is that she'll be a co-author of the plan, not a victim of a ban.

грибник1987 asker Yeah, she sees the connection, but she thinks she has enough willpower to stop. The diary idea is good, I'll try suggesting it to her.

The problem is that TikTok is specifically designed to be as addictive as possible - the algorithm just doesn't give your brain a break! So yeah, agree on rules, but you need to make that rule physically doable, not rely on a 13-year-old's self-control. Try setting a timer on her phone before homework with her (like, 45 minutes of studying - phone in another room, then 15 minutes to chill), but the key thing is explain that this isn't punishment, it's a way to help her brain work more efficiently, because switching attention every 30 seconds to a new video literally kills the ability to concentrate. When a teen actually sees the results (like, she actually did her homework in an hour instead of three!) - that works so much better than just "because I said so"!

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