My daughter is 15 now and wants more pocket money because her friends get significantly more. She wants to use it to buy clothes and cosmetics. I'm not sure how much is realistic and fair - what do other parents give their teenagers?
I wouldn't just give her more because the others are getting more - that doesn't lead anywhere. What's much more important is that you talk with her about what she actually needs the money for and whether she can also take on some small household tasks to "earn" it. In my experience at home, teenagers spend money much more consciously when they realize there's a bit of effort behind it, rather than it just coming to them for free.
That's definitely tricky, because every family works differently and their financial situation varies! From what I've picked up in conversations, the range for 15-year-olds is pretty wide - some get 20-30 euros a month, others get way more. A lot depends on whether she does chores around the house (and whether those are paid) and whether she's able to pick up a little side job. If your daughter's supposed to buy her own clothes and cosmetics, she'll probably need a bit more than if it's just for leisure spending.
The main thing is really that you two agree on something - not what her friends are getting, but what works for your family! Maybe it makes sense to think through it together: What do you pay for anyway (phone, insurance, etc.), and what should she cover from her own pocket money? If cosmetics and fashion are really supposed to come from her own money, then of course she needs more than if she just wants to go to the movies with friends. Some parents also gradually increase pocket money as kids get older, instead of jumping up in bigger amounts all at once!
One more tip: If she really wants more, she could always help out actively - not just standard chores, but extra things that get paid. That also teaches her that more money comes from more effort, and it takes the pressure off the whole "my friends get more" comparison.
When it comes to pocket money, honestly you should focus less on what her friends are getting and more on two things: your financial situation and what you want your daughter to learn from it. The amounts you hear about can vary wildly - some parents give 20 euros a month, others 100+, and that doesn't really tell you much about what's right or wrong. What matters more is that your daughter understands how to handle money and that it isn't unlimited.
A practical approach: give her a fixed amount that she can decide how to spend herself. If clothes and cosmetics are supposed to come out of this budget, that makes sense - then she'll actually learn to set priorities. At 15, you could realistically aim for 40 - 60 euros (depending on where you live and what your budget looks like), but 30 euros can be perfectly enough too. The most important thing is that she knows: this is what there is. A limit like that not only saves you from having to argue about every single wish, but actually teaches her something real.
If you notice she really can't manage with it at all - for example because everyone at school regularly goes to cafés or leisure activities cost money - you could also consider whether it makes sense to keep paying for certain things separately, like school clothes or activity costs, while pocket money is just for "extras." That also takes the pressure off trying to keep up with her friends.
Around 40 to 60 euros a month is pretty standard for that age, though it really depends on the individual situation. The other person who answered was right - there's no point comparing yourself to friends if maybe their parents are wealthy or they save differently. What would be more important is sitting down with your daughter and figuring out what she actually needs and what for (clothes every month? Just cosmetics? Saving up for something bigger?), and then see what works for your family. If she wants noticeably more, a part-time job could be worth considering too - that way she learns what money is actually for.
My experience is that you shouldn't focus so much on what her friends are getting and instead figure out whether your daughter is already taking on some smaller household tasks - that makes a huge difference when it comes to increasing pocket money. If she's contributing herself, it's easier to justify a raise, and at the same time she learns that money comes with responsibility.
In concrete terms, I'd sit down with her and work out what she actually needs each month. Not what the others are getting, but: How many clothes does she actually buy? How often does she get cosmetics? Then you have a realistic number. Often it turns out that her friends aren't really spending as much as it sounds like - or their parents are paying for specific things (clothes, cosmetics) separately instead of having it all come out of pocket money. That's also an option: for bigger expenses, you could agree on a joint arrangement instead of just bumping up the base amount.
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