We've been together for 4 and a half years, and we've been living together for 2 years. Whenever I bring it up, he changes the subject or says we need to wait. I don't know if I should push it or just drop it. Is this a red flag or just that he needs more time?
You really need to have a direct conversation with him, not just at some random moment - set aside time specifically to talk seriously about what you each expect and what he envisions for you two. It's not just about waiting around, you have the right to know if you're on the same page or not 🤷♀️
It's true that a serious conversation is necessary, but before you corner him in a formal debate, you could try to understand what's really blocking him - sometimes it's not that he doesn't want to get married, it's that he's afraid of the conversation itself or he has doubts about something that has nothing to do with you. After 4 and a half years, you have the right to know where he stands, yeah, but be careful not to turn it into an ultimatum right off the bat - just ask him why he's avoiding the subject and actually listen to his answer instead of pushing him with your expectations right away.
After 4.5 years together, it's totally fair to want to figure out where you guys actually stand! But before you have that big formal conversation everyone else is talking about, maybe first try to understand what's really holding him back - is he worried about money, does he have doubts about you two, or is he just dragging his feet because he can't be bothered? Both approaches can work, but understanding what's actually blocking him first is less aggressive and you'll know whether you really need to push or if it's just a timing thing. If after that he still won't give you anything concrete, then yeah, that's when you need to have the real talk!
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