He says all his friends at school have one, and he wants it to play games and be on WhatsApp with his classmates. My wife thinks he should get one, but I'm worried he'll get addicted or won't be able to control his screen time. What's the right age to give a child a phone?
The issue isn't really the right age, but whether he can respect boundaries - at 12 some kids can, others can't, it really depends on each one. Before you buy one, try it out with your phone or a friend's for a week and see if he can stick to rules like "no phone at dinner" or "maximum 1 hour a day"; if he can, maybe he's ready. If you do get him one, skip the really strict parental control apps (kids get around them and it becomes a constant fight) and focus more on having clear conversations about what he can and can't do - when there's trust, it works better than tight monitoring. What's your main worry: that he'll ignore the rules you agree on, or that he'll actually be glued to the screen even when you tell him to stop?
I don't think it's just a question of maturity - it has a lot to do with what he'll actually use the phone for and whether you can set up rules from the start. Most kids his age do have one, yeah, but that doesn't mean they won't end up glued to the screen if there aren't clear limits. I'd say what matters is you and his mom deciding together what the rules are before you buy it - screen time, which apps he can or can't have, what happens if he goes over the limits - and then actually sticking to it. Without that conversation upfront, it's easy to end up constantly arguing about screen time every single day.
What works best is for you and your wife to agree beforehand on exactly what the rules are (screen time, allowed apps, whether he has camera access, etc.) and present it as a pact, not a punishment - that way he knows from the start what's allowed and what's not. A practical tip most people don't do: let him use a phone at school for a week or two at home (like, lend him yours or a classmate's at a specific time) so he can get a feel for actually managing it before he gets his own. Then you guys can see if he can stick to what you agreed on or if he really does end up with that uncontrolled addiction.
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