I'm 22, I'm finishing my apprenticeship as an electrician and I've got a job lined up. My parents want me to move back home now so I can save money. But I finally want some peace and quiet and get myself a small apartment. How do I tell them that without hurting their feelings?
Don't frame it as a conflict, but as the next step in your life together - you'll become more independent, earn your own money, and won't be constantly on top of each other. Tell them clearly that you need this phase to figure yourself out, and that your relationship will actually be better in the long run if you're not living together every day. You can also show them that you can manage it financially and that regular visits go without saying. That way they'll understand it's not a rejection, but just normal growing up.
This is really a tricky situation! The most important thing is to be honest, but also acknowledge their concerns. They mean well and are probably just thinking about saving money and keeping you "safe." Tell them exactly that - that you understand their worry, but this step is essential for your personal development. At 22 with your own job, it's completely normal and important to have your independence. That's not a sign that you don't love them!
Maybe make them a proposal: show them a realistic plan for your finances! How much do you earn, how much does the apartment cost, how much will you have left to save? That often puts parents' minds at ease because they can see you're not making this decision lightly. You could also offer to visit regularly or invite them over. Sometimes it also helps to explain to them that you'd be living closer to work or that having your own place helps you concentrate better.
The main thing: stay calm, be respectful, and don't put off the decision! The longer you hesitate, the more they'll pressure you. A short, loving, and firm statement is better than long discussions - something like "I love you, but I have to take this step." Period. They might feel hurt at first, but they'll get over it once they see that you can take care of yourself!
Maybe you don't have to frame this as a betrayal - your parents will understand if you explain it properly. The thing is, you don't need to justify yourself just because you're growing up and need your own boundaries. That's completely normal at your age.
Sit down with them and tell them specifically what matters to you: that you want to feel independent, build your own routine, and learn to take responsibility for yourself. Also tell them about your job and your plan - not as proof you're right, but as a sign that you're taking this seriously and not making a rash decision. Maybe you can also show them that you'll be saving money, just in your own place. That's not any less responsible than living with them.
If they start worrying about money, you could maybe offer a compromise - visiting regularly, having meals together, whatever - but just not moving back in. But also give them time to adjust. A lot of parents struggle with that at first, but they let go once they see you're doing well 💪
Log into answer.
