About 4 months ago I lent my best friend 150,000 pesos so he could pay off a debt, and he told me he'd pay me back in two weeks. All that time has passed and every time I ask him he just says "soon" or changes the subject. I don't want to lose the friendship but I can't let him keep ignoring me either.
What the others don't tell you is that being clear isn't enough if your friend simply doesn't want to face the issue. Before threatening to take legal action or end the friendship, ask him directly if money is a real problem or if he's avoiding telling you he can't pay you back. Sometimes people panic and hide instead of being honest. If he admits he can't pay back 150 thousand in one lump sum, negotiate a real payment plan with specific dates and write it down (it doesn't need to be formal, a message that you both confirm works). But if he keeps dodging after that, then you know the friendship isn't worth it to him and you have to make a decision about how much you want to keep it going.
You need to have a serious conversation with him, straight to the point: tell him you need the money and set a specific date for him to pay you back. If he keeps dodging you after that, unfortunately it's a character issue, not a friendship one, so think about whether that relationship is really worth keeping.
I went through something similar years ago and learned that waiting indefinitely only makes things worse. What worked for me was sending him a clear message (better in writing so you have proof): "We need to have a serious talk about the 150k I lent you. It's not about our friendship, it's that I really need that money back. When can you return it?" No reproaches, no drama, just straight to the point. Most people who avoid the topic do it because they feel embarrassed or think that if they ignore it, it'll magically disappear.
After that, agree on a concrete date - not "soon," but "September 15th" or whatever's realistic. If he doesn't follow through by that date, then you've got to make a decision: do you push back one or two more times, or do you write it off as a loss? Some friendships are worth losing if the person won't respect your boundaries or your money. It's rough, but friends who lend-shame you like that almost always do it to others too. If you end up losing the friendship over asking him to return what's yours, the relationship was already broken.
If you've already asked him several times and he keeps dodging you, you probably won't get that money back while staying his friend - at some point you have to choose between the cash and the friendship, because you're unlikely to get both. What nobody usually mentions is that if he doesn't pay you back in the end, that resentment is going to eat away at the relationship way more than an awkward conversation right now, so it's better to get it off your chest once and for all with a direct talk where you make the deadline clear to him.
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