The manufacturing angle is the real clincher here. Even if the Romans had wanted to scale up steam power, they simply couldn't make the parts precise enough. You need tight tolerances on cylinders, pistons, valves - stuff that requires machine tools to create consistently. Hero's aeolipile worked because it was small and the tolerances didn't matter as much, but an actual steam engine doing real work would've fallen apart immediately. They had metalworking skills, sure, but nothing close to what you'd need for industrial-grade equipment.
Beyond that, Roman infrastructure and economy just weren't set up for it. They weren't mining coal at scale, didn't have a culture of tinkering and iterating on machines the way the Industrial Revolution eventually required. When someone did invent something clever, there wasn't a network of other inventors building on it. Steam power only took off when you had all these factors aligning - precision manufacturing, abundant fuel, capital investment, a market desperate for efficiency. The Romans had slave labor and aqueducts doing the heavy lifting just fine, so the economic pressure to innovate just wasn't there.