I'm 29, we've been together for 4 years and I want to start talking about our future and maybe getting married, but he changes the subject whenever I bring it up. I don't want to seem like I'm pushing too hard, but I also think that after all this time together he should be thinking about the same thing.
Is he avoiding it because he's afraid of commitment, or simply because he hasn't thought about it yet? That difference is crucial! I'd say pick a calm moment, away from distractions, and instead of "we need to talk about marriage" go with something like "I'd like to know how you see our future in a few years" - it's less confrontational and gives him space to talk without feeling cornered. Then actually listen to what he says, because he might have concerns you don't know about or he might just be living in the moment. If after an honest conversation it becomes clear that you two want different things on timing, then you have information to decide what to do - but at least you'll know where he stands instead of you both making assumptions!
The problem might not be what he feels, but how you're bringing up the conversation - if it always comes across as "so, when are we getting married?", it's easy for him to dodge because it sounds like pressure. Try flipping it: ask what he imagines for your future together in general terms (living together somewhere else, long-term plans, kids or no kids), and let marriage come up naturally from that conversation, not like an ultimatum. That way you figure out if he's avoiding the topic because it scares him or if he's just never actually thought about it.
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