I've noticed my friend from college only reaches out when they want help moving, need money advice, or need a ride somewhere. Otherwise I barely hear from them. I've tried initiating hangouts but it always feels transactional. Is this worth bringing up or should I just accept this is how the friendship works now?
It's worth a direct conversation - not accusatory, just honest - about what friendship means to both of you, because resentment will only build if you keep giving without reciprocity. If they're defensive or nothing changes after that, you can dial it back to whatever level feels fair to you without the guilt.
People often feel trapped between two extremes - either letting the resentment fester or forcing an awkward confrontation - but there's a third option: quietly shift the dynamic yourself first. Next time they reach out needing something, it's okay to say no or delay helping, and use that space to see if they ever check in just to talk. If they don't, you'll have your answer without needing the conversation at all, and you can naturally invest less energy in the friendship. Sometimes people genuinely don't realize they've become one-directional, but sometimes they know and are just taking advantage - and you'll figure out which one this is by what they do when you stop being so available.
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