We've known each other since high school, but for the last few months I've been feeling like he doesn't really listen to me when I talk about important stuff. He's always looking at his phone, changes the subject quickly. I don't know if it's just how he is or if I've actually lost his friendship.
Does he do that with everyone or just with you? Because there's a huge difference between a guy who's just always on his phone with everyone (it's just how he is) and a guy who specifically singles you out to blow you off. The real test is straightforward: next time you tell him something important, you tell him "I need you to really listen to me right now" and you see how he reacts. If he actually cares about you he's gonna put his phone away and give you his time, even if it's not his natural habit.
The thing is, you can't really conclude based on that alone - tons of people are glued to their phones with everyone, even the people they actually care about. What really matters is what he does *outside* those moments: is he there when you need him, does he remember stuff you've told him before, does he make the effort to reach back out to you?
Be careful not to mix up a friend who's a bad listener because of who he is with a friend who doesn't give a damn. Sometimes you go through periods where you're just swamped or stressed and you zone out with everyone. If you're unsure about it, honestly the easiest thing is to just talk to him directly about it instead of stressing yourself out over it.
The most reliable thing is to try talking to him about it directly, without being aggressive - like "I've got the feeling we've been talking less in person lately, how are things going on your end?" That can open up a real conversation and you'll quickly see if it's just a period where he's distracted or if the friendship has actually cooled down. The trap is drawing conclusions just by observing without communicating - sometimes people change their attitude for reasons that have nothing to do with you (work stress, depression, new friend group), and you miss the chance to clear things up.
Wait, before you talk to him directly, observe one simple thing: is he doing the same thing with his other friends or really just with you? Because yeah, a lot of people are glued to their phones, but that tells you something important. If it's only with you, that's a signal you should take seriously. Now if he's like that with everyone, his distracted nature doesn't excuse anything for someone you've known for a long time - he should at least make an effort when it matters. Once you have your answer on that, you'll know if it's really worth bringing the conversation back up.
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