My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, but lately he leaves me on read for hours at a time, even though I can see he was online. I feel ignored, and when I call him out on it he says he doesn't always feel like talking. I don't know if I'm being too demanding or if it's normal to feel this way.
What did you expect from communication at the beginning of the relationship, when everything was fresher? It's totally valid to feel ignored when someone leaves you on read knowing they're online, and it's not a demand but a basic need to feel considered. The thing isn't that he doesn't feel like talking every second, but there's a difference between that and straight-up ignoring you after 2 years together. You need to tell him calmly but firmly that when you see he's online but doesn't answer you, it hurts because it feels like you're not a priority, and that an "I'm not in the mood right now but I'll get back to you in a bit" is a thousand times better than the silence.
What works is separating "he doesn't feel like talking" from "he's actively ignoring me" - those are two different things. You can tell him something like "it doesn't bother me that you don't reply right away, but it hurts that you see my message, you're online and just don't answer," because then it's not about energy anymore, it's about priority. The difference matters because if he's really busy or tired, a quick response costs him nothing; if he's not giving it even though he knows you're there waiting, that's straight-up ignoring you. Maybe when you bring it up like that, without attacking him, he'll get that you're not asking him to be available 24/7, just that he doesn't leave you on read like your message doesn't matter.
Don't hit him with a sermon about how "you don't love me" or that "you're selfish," because that's just gonna put him on the defensive 🙄 What matters is talking about how *you* feel: "it hurts me when you leave me on read for hours even though I can see you were active." Sometimes guys don't realize what that comes across as, and when you frame it from an emotional place instead of attacking him, it's way easier for him to get it. If he still doesn't make an effort after that, then that's a whole different conversation.
Log into answer.
