How do you deal with grandparents who want to spoil their grandchildren too much?

The problem is that grandparents have every right to be generous, but you also have the right to raise your kids the way you see fit. So you need to find a compromise without making a big deal out of it. The most important thing is to talk directly, don't send passive-aggressive messages or complain to other relatives. You tell them clearly what bothers you - whether it's too many toys, too many sweets, or the fact that they don't respect your boundaries - and you do it calmly, not accusingly. In most cases, grandparents understand if you explain that it's not a personal attack, but that as a parent you have specific rules.

Set clear and realistic boundaries. I'm not saying "ban gifts," but rather "maximum two presents at Christmas" or "sweets only on weekends" or whatever works for you. Offer alternatives: if they want to spoil their grandkids, maybe they could use money to pay for a lesson in something the kid is interested in, or take them to do an activity together. Often grandparents enjoy spending time together more than buying random stuff.

If they don't listen anyway, then you decide what comes into your house. If they come home with bags full of junk you didn't want, stash half of it in the garage or give it away. It sounds harsh, but at the end of the day these are your choices and your kids' choices. You can still manage it without burning bridges - just be consistent and don't back down.

What really works is involving the grandparents in your parenting style instead of making them feel like they're doing something wrong - tell them clearly what you want for your kids and they'll usually go along with it. Just watch out though: if they see one parent saying yes and the other saying no, they'll exploit that gap without mercy, so you two need to be on the same page before you talk to them.