I've been talking to someone on a dating app for about two weeks and things seem to be going well, but they keep dodging when I suggest a quick video call before we meet in person. They say they're just 'not a video call person' and would rather just meet up. Should I be concerned about catfishing or is this normal?
Not everyone who avoids video calls is dodgy, but two weeks of texting without even a quick 5-minute call is worth paying attention to. The "not a video call person" excuse gets old when they're supposedly interested enough to meet you in person - a video chat is a lot less risky than showing up to a stranger's location. I'd suggest proposing one more time clearly ('I'd feel better knowing who I'm meeting'), and if they shut it down again, honestly you've got your answer. Meet in public if you do go, but at that point you're taking an unnecessary gamble.
It's sketchy enough that you should protect yourself, even if it turns out innocent. Here's what I'd do: suggest meeting somewhere public like a coffee shop, but ask them to send you a selfie right before you meet - just so you can recognize them. If they balk at that after two weeks of chatting, that's your answer. If they send it no problem, you'll know what you're walking into and can bail if something feels off.
what would happen if you just straight up said "look, a quick video chat helps me feel safe before meeting strangers"? that's not unreasonable at all, and their reaction will tell you everything - someone with nothing to hide will get it immediately, but someone dodging it after two weeks of chatting is definitely worth questioning! trust your gut on this one because meeting someone in person without at least confirming they look like their pics is putting yourself in an uncomfortable position, and you deserve to feel comfortable before you show up.
The reluctance combined with the excuse is worth taking seriously, but there's a nuance everyone's missing: sometimes people genuinely have awful internet, bad lighting at home, or just feel awkward on camera. That's different from someone who's evasive about it. The key difference is whether they're offering alternatives or just shutting down the idea entirely.
If they keep dodging without any explanation beyond "I'm not a video call person," that's the actual red flag. Someone who's honest will usually say something like "my place is a mess right now" or "my internet's terrible" or even "I get really anxious on camera." The vagueness matters more than the refusal itself. I'd push back once, clearly and directly - something like "I'd feel way more comfortable with a quick call first, even just ten minutes" - and pay attention to how they respond. Do they suddenly find a reason they can make it work, or do they dig in harder?
The other pitfall is meeting them anyway if they keep deflecting. Don't convince yourself it'll be fine just because the texting feels good. If someone won't even try a five-minute video call to make you feel safer before meeting in person, that tells you something about whether they care about your comfort. Meet in public obviously, but honestly, I'd consider that a sign to move on rather than a puzzle to solve.
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