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Absolutely, it's super common - having a kid shifts everything about how you see your relationship, from the practical stuff like sleep deprivation and money stress to the emotional weight of being responsible for another person together. Some couples feel closer because they're a team now, others feel disconnected because there's literally no time or energy left for each other. The key thing is that these feelings usually aren't permanent; they tend to settle once you get past the first few years and find a new rhythm as parents.
Don't expect yourself to feel the same way about your partner or marriage just because you loved them before the kid arrived - that's not how it works. What often gets overlooked is that you're not just changing as individuals, you're also grieving the relationship you had, which can feel like rejection even when it's just exhaustion and divided attention. The shift isn't always negative, but it's rarely smooth, and pretending it should be can create a ton of resentment. Most couples come out the other side fine, but acknowledging that this transition is legitimately hard helps way more than expecting yourself to stay besotted while running on four hours of sleep.
the thing that helped me understand this better was realizing your partner becomes a coparent first and a spouse second for a while - that's not a failure of love, it's just reality when you're both running on fumes. what gets missed in a lot of conversations is that some couples actually reconnect stronger after that fog lifts, but only if they're intentional about it. were you expecting to feel the same way, or are you noticing you feel distant from your partner right now?
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