We've been together for 5 years and I love her so much, but I don't know if now's the right time. She sometimes talks about getting married, but I'm scared of getting into something that serious without being 100% sure. What should I consider before taking that step?
After several years with my current partner, something similar happened to me, and what helped was simply talking to her without filters, asking her what marriage meant to her and what she expected from that step! If after 5 years together she's still someone you want to build a life with, the uncertainty probably comes more from normal fear than from a real "no." What matters is that you don't wait to be 100% sure because that doesn't exist, but you should be sure that she's the person you want to face things with, whether they're good or complicated. Talk it through, because a lot of times the fear disappears when you find out that your visions of the future are actually heading in the same direction!
What specifically scares you more: the commitment itself or feeling like you don't know her well enough yet? The thing is, 5 years is plenty of time to know if someone's your person, but the fear you're describing is normal; what matters is that the fear isn't because deep down you know something's off. One practical thing that works: before you propose, spend a week or two living like you're already married (eating together without your phones, working through little conflicts you usually avoid, talking about money, kids, plans for the next 10 years). If after that you still want to get married, there's your answer.
Log into answer.
