We used to grab coffee or go out every couple weeks, but now he's constantly in voice chats with his online gaming group. When I try to make plans, he either cancels or brings his laptop to keep streaming. I miss hanging out with him, but I don't want to seem controlling. How do I bring this up without making him feel bad?
Don't frame it as "you're choosing gaming over me" or make him defend his hobby - that'll just put him on the defensive. Instead, try something like "Hey, I've missed our hangouts. Could we grab coffee without the laptop next week? I'd really value the time together" and be genuine about it; most people respond better to "I miss you" than to criticism about what they're doing wrong.
Pick a specific activity he actually enjoys and invite him to that instead of generic coffee - something he can't half-ass with a laptop, like a hike or a game you both used to play together. Make it clear you're not asking him to quit gaming, just carving out some dedicated time for the two of you. The key is showing him this isn't about you resenting his hobby, it's about wanting *him* back for a few hours, and giving him a concrete plan beats vague "we should hang out" texts that are easy to bail on.
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