I've been working with this guy for two years and he's really nice, but lately when we're together in the meeting room or the company car, I notice he has a pretty noticeable bad breath problem. I don't know how to bring it up without hurting his feelings or making him uncomfortable. Is it even my place to say anything?
I don't think it's entirely your responsibility, but it's not completely outside your reach either! If you two have a two-year relationship and he's a nice guy, maybe you can be discreet and direct without making a big deal out of it. One approach would be to catch him alone at some point and say something like "Hey, I've noticed you might have a breath problem lately, it's probably something health-related" - that way it's clear it's not personal, more of a practical observation. Yeah, there'll definitely be some awkwardness, but sooner or later he'd want to know why people were keeping their distance from him in the meeting room!
The worst approach would be to do it in public or in a direct way like "hey, you have bad breath". That would embarrass him a lot and create an uncomfortable atmosphere between you. It's also not worth doing that indirect messaging thing or telling third parties hoping it reaches his ears - that just causes drama and mistrust.
The truth is that two years of working together give you some room for an honest conversation, but it needs to happen in private and with genuine empathy. Catch him in a calm moment, just the two of you alone, and be direct but respectful: "Hey, I get that this might be weird, but since we get along well, I thought you should know that sometimes I notice a certain odor when we're close. It could be a health issue, like cavities or digestive problems". Then let him process the information without pushing it.
The trap that a lot of people don't see is that bad breath is often a symptom of something - dental problems, infections, medications, even stomach issues. If he's a good guy and you two have a good relationship, that information could be a gift in disguise. He might have no idea at all and end up forever grateful that you had the courage to tell him. If you don't say anything, it just continues to be there in the meeting room and he never finds out.
The most tactful approach is to talk to him privately, in a really casual and friendly way, like you're doing him a favor. Like, catch him alone at some point and say something like "hey, I just wanted to give you a heads up because we get along well: I've noticed lately that maybe there's something going on with your breath. Could be a health thing, poor hygiene, I don't know... but I figured you should know because nobody else is going to tell you straight up". Doesn't need to be dramatic, just direct but with care, you know?
The advantage of you two already knowing each other for two years is exactly that: there's trust. He'll probably appreciate it more than you'd think, because nobody likes finding out later that they've had this problem and nobody warned them. It could be something simple like an infection, gum disease, or even digestive issues he didn't even realize. The initial awkwardness passes quickly, but ignoring the problem leaves him embarrassed in front of other coworkers or clients.
What really matters is keeping the tone of someone who cares, not someone who's criticizing. Avoid that know-it-all way of "I noticed you have a problem," better to keep it more colleague-to-colleague. And if afterward he distances himself a bit or gets kind of weird, it'll pass quickly. Most people, when they get this kind of heads-up done right, end up grateful.
Have you thought about whether he already knows about the problem or if it's something nobody's ever told him? I had a similar situation with a neighbor and ended up telling him in a very casual way, almost like I wasn't making a big deal out of it - like, "eh, I noticed you might have something going on with your teeth or mouth, I don't know, but I thought it'd be good to mention it to your dentist" - and he genuinely thanked me because nobody else had had the guts. If you two get along well, a private, quick conversation without dramatizing it is way better than him going years without knowing and feeling embarrassed later when he finds out. The awkwardness of the moment passes, but pretending you don't see it is more harmful to him in the long run.
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