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Do you know if the person already knows the others in the group? Because that context changes things a lot. The truth is that adding someone without warning almost always ends up awkward - people get surprised, sometimes they didn't want to be there, and plus they miss out on earlier conversations. The only thing that makes sense is if it's a work group or for a specific project where the person needs to be involved right away, and even then it's better to give them a quick heads-up first.
miguel_sol asker
Yeah, most people know them. But you're right, I'll give them a heads-up first anyway.
It's almost never appropriate to add someone without asking first. The only exception would be if it's a closed family group and the person just joined the family (a new partner, a child), but even then it's better to give them a heads-up. For work groups, friends, or anything that's not super intimate, always ask first - a lot of people get annoyed when they're added without their consent, and it's understandable because you're forcing them into a chat they didn't ask for.
I think people are being too strict here. If it's a work group or friend group where everyone already knows each other, adding someone new without asking can be fine if the person is relevant to what you're talking about. The real problem is when you add a complete stranger or when the group is kind of private and personal. The uncomfortable part isn't really being added so much as finding out you were left out of something where everyone else was already in on it - that's what creates tension. If you're unsure, sure, ask first, but it's not the end of the world in casual contexts.
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