I've noticed that my whole family now eats in front of their phone or the TV, something my grandparents never did. It seems to me we've kind of lost that tradition of everyone being together at the table, talking. Is this normal or is it just me?
The thing is, if you don't actually create moments without distractions, they won't just happen on their own - you have to be a bit intentional about it.
What works for me is having a fixed day of the week (like Thursday) where the phone stays in another room, and I don't even have the TV on; it sounds silly but when you take the device away from people they just start talking. Then you don't even need to force them, they realize it's actually nice.
No, you're clearly not the only one - this is a very real trend for pretty much everyone.
The truth is we have way more entertainment options now, way more chaotic work schedules, and the way people manage their time has changed a lot over the last 30 or 40 years. Smartphones came onto the scene relatively recently and kind of changed everything overnight.
That said, plenty of people still value eating together and make the effort to put their devices away - it just requires more intentionality now than it used to, when there wasn't really an alternative.
I think people are being a bit too generous with the excuses about hectic schedules and all that. Yeah, things have changed, but it's more because nobody's giving it the priority they used to. Your grandparents had busy lives too, but that was sacred. Now it's super easy to fall into the phone trap because it's right there and nobody says anything. The difference is that back then there was no alternative, and people had to actually deal with each other at the table.
I get that you've got to be intentional, but it doesn't have to be some fixed day of the week - that can sound too forced and people will rebel against it. What actually works better is just keeping those bloody things away from the table during dinner. No exceptions. It'll be weird at first, like when I took my phone out of my pocket while eating and didn't know what to do with my hands, but then people start talking and it just flows naturally. After a few weeks nobody even thinks about it.
The thing is, nobody dies of hunger if they can't check their phone for an hour and a half. But you've got to enforce it without being all "you're all addicted," because then it just becomes a fight. Do it naturally, like "check out this amazing food my mum made," and it'll happen. My family's doing this now and it's way more chill.
# Translation
The temptation to blame it all on chaotic schedules is pretty simplistic. Sure, work, school, and commitments have changed, but what really happened is we discovered it's much easier to coexist in silence with a screen than to sit down and deal with actual conversations, you know? I'm not saying it's intentional or that parents are lazy - it's more that nobody was taught to resist it, and honestly it's exhausting either way.
What works is creating physical barriers. Like, it's not about having a fixed day and that's it (though it helps), it's more about not leaving phones visible during the meal, and I'm serious about this - if it's there on the table, a person is going to be distracted whether they realize it or not. I've tried different formats with my family at home and I noticed that when we play a simple board game during dinner, the conversation flows way more naturally than if it's just the plate and eating. Like, a quick card game while you're eating, nothing complicated - it creates that context where talking stops being an obligation and becomes part of something.
The thing is, yeah, things have changed a lot, but it's also true that nobody's really fighting against it. Your grandparents didn't have Netflix competing, of course, but they also didn't have that easy excuse of "oh, we just don't have time today." Getting this back requires being a bit stubborn and intentional about it, something previous generations didn't even consider because it was automatic.
Log into answer.
