We've been dating for about two and a half years, and he's always at my place, knows everyone in my family, but whenever there's a family gathering on his side he always comes up with an excuse. He says it's because his family is complicated and he wants to spare me, but I'm suspicious. Is he hiding something or is he actually afraid of how they'll treat me?
After 2 and a half years, that's definitely suspicious, because if he really wanted to spare you from a complicated family, he would've talked to you openly about it instead of just making excuses on the spot. It could be that he's scared of their reaction, but it could also mean he's not taking the relationship seriously or he's actually hiding something - the best thing is to stop speculating and have a real talk with him, telling him that you already know your reality and you want to know his too, and that you need an honest answer. If he keeps dodging it, then yeah, you've got reason to be more suspicious.
The problem here is that he's had more than enough time to prepare you for this conversation, and he hasn't. If his family were really complicated and he wanted to protect you, he would've explained clearly what to expect - instead of making up excuses every time an opportunity comes up. The thing is, 2 and a half years is a solid amount of time for a serious relationship, and you don't already know everyone through his social media or something? Because if he genuinely doesn't want you to meet them yet, it's worth asking him straight up what's going on, without letting it slide - there might be more to it than he's admitting.
But has he ever tried to involve you in conversations about what his family dynamic is like, or does he just avoid the subject completely? Because 2 and a half years is a pretty long time, and if he really wanted you to understand the situation, he would've had plenty of opportunities to give you context about what's worrying him - instead of just coming up with excuses when the event rolls around. What's more strange isn't necessarily hiding something serious, but him being comfortable enough to take you to his place on a day-to-day basis (or do you guys only see each other at yours?), and at the same time keeping this whole forbidden zone away from you.
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