3 answers

That's completely understandable that it bugs you - when someone's constantly looking at their phone, it really does come across like they don't care about what you're saying. I'd say it depends on how you bring it up: if you do it calmly and without being accusatory ("Hey, I've noticed you're on your phone a lot - are you missing your family or is everything okay?"), it can actually strengthen the friendship. On the other hand, if you guys are always hanging out like that, I might just leave it and pull out your own phone instead - some people don't realize how bad it looks until they see it happening with someone else.

Bring it up, but pick a calm moment for it - not right during the next meal when tensions are already running high. Just tell him that you've noticed it and that it makes you feel a bit ignored. Most people don't even realize how often they're checking their phone, so he might just be pulling it out out of habit and didn't mean anything by it.

Here's the thing: whether it's rude also depends on how extreme it is. If he's checking it briefly every couple of minutes, that's annoying but maybe still acceptable. But if he's completely absorbed in his phone while you're talking and just going "mm-hmm," then that's actually disrespectful and you're right to feel like you don't matter. You're not overreacting - it would get to me the same way.

Try having a relaxed conversation about it instead of just letting it go - if he keeps doing it anyway, you can think about whether spending time together is still worthwhile for you. But first you should give him the chance to know about it.

Have you already thought about whether your friend might also be distracted unconsciously - meaning it's become a habit without him deliberately aiming it at you? That makes a difference when you want to bring it up.

Honestly, I don't think you're overreacting. If you're meeting regularly to spend time together and he's constantly looking at his screen, that's actually pretty rude. It signals "this isn't important enough to me right now". But instead of starting a confrontation right at the table, you can also handle it more casually - maybe just say in a good moment: "Hey, I've noticed you check your phone a lot when we're together. Is everything okay with you or is something bothering you?" That sounds less accusatory and also gives him a chance to explain in case something's going on in the background.

If he reacts defensively or doesn't change the behavior, you can also just set your own boundaries - be more conscious about sharing less, keep things brief, maybe shorten the meetup. He'll eventually notice that the quality of time together is suffering. Sometimes you don't need big words at all, just that the other person feels what it's like.

Michael1995 asker Yes, I think he does it unconsciously out of habit. Thanks for the tip about bringing it up casually - I'll try that.

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