We've been together for about 2 years and we've always split everything down the middle. But recently he's been making way more money than me (he got into a better company) and I'm finding it weird that we keep splitting things equally. Like, he wants to go out to eat at some fancy restaurant and asks to split, but I know it's tight for me. Should I say something or just leave it as is?
I've been through something similar and I can tell you this only gets worse if you stay quiet about it. The thing is, when income changes, the dynamic changes with it, and splitting 50/50 when one person makes twice as much isn't fair to you - you're having to cut back on spending just to keep up with his lifestyle. The conversation will be awkward at first, but it's way better to talk about it now than to end up resentful later. Suggest something more proportional to what you both earn, like dividing it by the percentage each of you makes, or having him pay for some things and you pay for others. A boyfriend who doesn't get that isn't thinking about you two as a couple - he's just thinking about what's convenient for him.
It's not wrong, but it's time to rethink how you two handle finances. The people above have a point - when income changes significantly, keeping it 50/50 stops being fair and becomes more a reflection of being too lazy to have the conversation than an actual equal split. The thing is, you're getting squeezed while he feels zero impact, and that's gonna breed a ton of resentment.
The conversation doesn't need to be awkward. Just tell him calmly that you two need to adjust because the situation has changed - it's not an accusation, just reality. You can try different approaches: split proportionally to your incomes (if he makes 70% of the total coming in, he pays 70% of expenses), or you cover different things (he pays for the fancy restaurant, you pay other stuff that matches your budget), or even agree on a fixed amount you can contribute and he covers the rest.
One practical trick that works well: put together a simple spreadsheet with your monthly expenses (rent, groceries, going out, etc) and check it out together to see what the total is. Then you calculate how much each of you makes percentage-wise. It's way easier to see things when they're laid out in black and white than arguing about it in your heads. It might seem overly unromantic to track everything, but financial honesty is just as important as anything else in a relationship.
It's not about whether it's right or wrong, it's just more practical, really - you're getting tight on money and he's comfortable, so the 50/50 split stopped working for both of you. What matters is talking it through without guilt: he can understand that earning more now is a fact and that you two can adjust how you split things (maybe proportional to your salaries, or he covers more of his own outings that he wants to do). The annoying part is that if you don't say anything, you're going to resent him and that kills any relationship.
You do need to talk about it, but I think the people above are focusing only on what's "fair" and forgetting that this really depends on how you two see the relationship. If it's an actual couple dynamic, it's not just math based on salaries, because then it feels like you're in some kind of business deal.
What really matters is you two finding a system that doesn't leave either of you tight on money or annoyed. It could be proportional to your salaries, it could be him paying more in certain situations, it could be you two choosing cheaper places when you go out together - the important thing is that you're both comfortable and without resentment.
Don't let this slide, because the longer you go along with it, the more normal it becomes for him to keep charging you like nothing's changed. Now, there's one thing people above aren't really touching on much: this isn't just about numbers and fairness, it's about both of you feeling good and respected. Like, there are couples who prefer splitting by income percentage (he pays 70%, you pay 30%, whatever), there are couples where one pays for an expensive restaurant and the other covers something that fits better in their budget, there's literally every way to work this out without it turning into that awkward bill situation at the end. What really matters is sitting down, telling him that the situation's changed and that you want to find something that works for both of you, not just mathematically, but that leaves you feeling okay too.
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