I usually just give money or transfer it now, because I don't know what the person actually likes. But it seems to me that back then it was more proper to give something tangible. Maybe I'm just out of touch?
Actually, the problem isn't that money is improper, it's that a physical gift has to be the right guess. If you guess right - a physical present is way more touching and memorable. If you miss - it ends up sitting on a shelf reminding you of the fail. Money will never disappoint, but it won't surprise either 😊
The easiest approach is this: learn a bit more about the person (not by asking directly, just by noticing things in conversation), then give something small but spot-on. Some niche thing connected to what they're actually interested in. Not expensive, so there's no shame if I get it wrong, but specific enough that it's clear - I didn't just brush you off.
Physical gifts work best with friends and close people where you see them in action and know their habits. With acquaintances or distant relatives - money is basically a lifesaver. And nobody's gonna be offended. You're not behind the times, you just found an approach that works for your situation 👍
It depends on how well you know the person and what kind of relationship you have with them. If it's a close friend or family member who shares their interests and tastes with you - a physical gift will be more thoughtful and heartfelt than money, because it shows you've been listening and remember what they like.
But if it's a colleague, a distant acquaintance, or someone whose preferences you don't know, then money or a gift card is more honest and practical. You won't risk missing the mark, and the person can choose what they actually need themselves. That doesn't mean you're out of touch - it's just that in 2026 people are generally busier and pickier than they used to be.
Try a hybrid approach: give an experience or memory instead of a physical thing. A concert ticket, a masterclass, a restaurant gift certificate - it's both a thoughtful gift (not just cash) and flexible (the person can decide when and how to use it themselves). A gift like that looks well-considered, but you're not risking getting the size or color wrong, and it definitely won't end up gathering dust on a shelf.
You don't have to choose between "proper" and modern - both options are fine, just in different situations. A physical gift works when you have something to go on: you know the person's hobbies, their style, what they're missing. But if you don't have that to work with, giving something as a guess is riskier than giving money. A gift might not land, and it'll show, whereas money is universal and honest.
The real trap is that we often only look at two extremes. There's a middle ground: give something that will definitely be useful and doesn't require guessing someone's taste. A good towel, a quality pen, a nice candle, a tea set - these are concrete things, but they're hard to dislike. Or actually give an experience - a ticket to something interesting, not just money in fancy wrapping.
Don't rush to think you're out of touch. Honestly, people used to give things that weren't quite what others wanted too; we just didn't talk about it. Now it's just become normal to acknowledge that money isn't an insult - it's respect for someone else's choice. Just make sure before you hand over cash that it won't hurt their feelings, even in passing. In some relationships, money in an envelope sounds colder than five minutes of thought put into a decent gift.
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